Another Month and an Affirmation

I still have to figure out how to not use this as a diary and better as a conversation. I enjoy reading many blogs of others daily, but I have yet to figure out how to join in the circle. I have yet to be discovered. I feel like a shy one on a chair in the corner, on the dark at a school dance waiting for someone , anyone to notice. I am so computer illiterate that I am embarrassed.

I have received a great gift. I have been given a generous grant of funds by the province to spend the next year creating my gallery of dolls that represent the unique gifts that northern Ontario has. The small treasures that most might miss or might not consider until....
The greatest part of this is that I have started to feel very different and very purposeful as to who I am. If you asked me a week ago I would have admitted to being artistic. I am now to proclaim that I am an Artist. I want to celebrate. I want a tattoo or a Nome tag or a sign on my house. Strangers have recognized my work as Art.

This has also opened up many other channels. With my Maker, my family, the rest of my time here and how much time I might have and a heady sense of Freedom !

I have also at the same time finished a hellish month of withdrawal from one Fibro drug ( gabapentin) and the introduction and now up to dose with a new one called Lyrica. IT WORKS ! I had heard that the results showed a favourable trial and with crossed fingered I hoped for myself. It does work and life has a lot of possibilities that I had decided were gone.
Firbri has robbed me of the last ten years of self actualization and now I feel like there is real hope and my family has noticed a great deal. I am so full of gratitude that I could bust.
The photos included are of the first doll for the grant Amethyst.

Now to connect with all of you.
Janet

The switch begins

for better or worse the switch from gabapentin to lirica has begun. I am anxious but I decided that I would wait until John got home, and he did so...now I can. I have cut one of the night dose out and in 3 days I will cut another out. I have to cut it to half before I start the new med.
I also had to deal with my mother very firmly. She told me during her weekly call that she would not be getting excited, or be showing any enthusasim for my daughter's wedding planned for next year. Her reasoning was that she does not approve. I told her that this wedding was not about her and that I was sorry that I would not be speaking of it again to her. It is not up for discussion. I also told her that should she not wish to come that we would respect that so that she might let us know if we would be wasting a stamp.
Tomorrow I have to meet with my youngests teachers, the are all wondering why he doesn't get some of the social niceties ( even though he is an A student ). It is because dear ladies ( who call meetings to show that they are right ) HE HAS AUTISM !!!! Diagnosed and given individual education plan, promised classroom help that he is uet to receive.....he has Asperger's. We have know this for 10 years!!!
It has been raining cats and dogs. I love it because the world interups my studio work less. Spent the day on sculpture. It was a good day.
J

Lryica ?

Today, and yesterday were probably the worst pain days that I have had in months. The pain of the fibromyalgia was so loud that I could do nothing at all. I am feeling very frustrated.
So I reteuned to the internet again and there I found whar I am hoping for......hope in the form of a newly released medicine for neuropathic pain, Lyrica.
I am so tired of the quality of my life being so limited by pain...but it is and there are so many other alternatives that could be worse.
In the meantime I spent an amazing evening with my youngest son Ian tonight. He is 16 and amazing. He made cookies tonight. He knows the way to my heart for sure. Chocolate chips.
My birds are coming along beautifully.
Yours Janet

The Right One

OK UNCLE!!!!!!

Well we have done it. We have finally reached the overwhelming saturation poin about THE wedding and the engagement has only been a week. To some people's disbelief we have... Booked the church, hall, photographer,and caterer,....arranged the music, registered for 60 gifts, started the budget book, chosen and put 50% down on the dress and snapped up all the fall decoration stuff for the venue we will need from Micheals at 50% off and the wedding is not until nest September. We have constucted hasty thankyou notes and set up a florist table in the spare room and have cellophane to wrap and store the centerpieces in, fleshed out the guest list, started a song list for the DJ and.....the event is not until.... NEXT September.
Anyone that reads this is going to think that I am mad. They would mistake madness for being thrifty both money and time wise. Anything I have named would cost twice as much next year and since my daughter is a photographer she will be busy shooting other's weddings as well as all her premarriage stuff happening next summer. My fibro will not take the stress and so I hope that this will be the saneest thing that we ever plan.
I was also very smart in that my daughter wanted a trumpet style dress that I knew would be too high fashion for the venue and her age and her soon to be crunchy granola lifestyle. Dress number 1 stuck out. I secretly cheered inside as the very knowedgable staff slipped her into the perfect dress. We all just KNEW IT

.
We came home a put everything away and I pulled out my knitting. We are finshed and can tidy the house and look forward to Thanksgiving (Canadian) this weekend.
We have so many things to be thankful for. We are very blessed.
Janet

ANGST !!!!!!

Is anyother soul out there as tired and bored of house and home as I seem to be. It seems to have lost its purpose. It also seems to have lost momentum and help. I though I had it together and even had hired on some help but she quit. She would not wear gloves or use any of the green products we use and then would complain that the chemicals were buring her hands and her skin was peeling. DUUUUH!?!?
So it is back on me and frnkly I am not feeling creative or loving about it.... rather resentful. The days have become too quiet and the orders for art have kept coming and I am so very tired.
The seasons are changing and I truly want to fly away with the geese and I truly long for some kindred souls. I find myself reading a lot of entries. I have not figured out how to link yet... but I will. I made a sparrow today. He still needs his beak. I will take a phto tomorrow..
Yes I know that I am whining like an overtired child. Menopause and Fibro steal sleep. I must get out tomorrow.
Janet

Bride's Magazines !!!!!

My dog Mop ( a toy terripoo )( 7 lbs) has delared that he needs lap time !
Well it is not 24 hours yet and we think we have the wedding all thought out. The venue, rentals, food and music and the guest list made up. They are so very happy. Only one attendant each and a year away. I am tired and need to be in the studio for the next 4 days. Life catches up and we will need to finace a good chunk of this.
The bride's mother ....Janet